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The Advenchews (Adventures) of Wobin Bwown and Lewnin' (LEARNING) TWUTH (TRUTH) (pawt 5) we-wite

June 20, 2017

   This is a story about integrity. I will take you back in time to 1961 to a small town in south Texas. The main character in this story is a young boy at the age of five years old and his name is Robin Brown. I am telling you his name because this story of truth revolves around his name. Robin was a good boy and followed his mothers' instructions every time she asked something of him.

   This young boy also loved his step-father even though he didn't really know what a step-father was at that time. Robin was adopted by his step-father at the age of four to break a link to a biological father who was dealing with demons in his life. Robin was a happy boy and found himself outside playing in the yard of his home, one morning. It wasn't a morning any different than any other day BUT TODAY was going to be a day he would never forget for the rest of his life! Robin was playing Cowboy Hero with himself in the front yard without anyone else around. Robin's imagination was all he needed to get by in his life well, except for his mother's "acceptance and love" which both came in abundance and this subconscious assimilation of: "acceptance and LOVE would later influence HIS selection of a mate later in his life! AMEN, BROTHER! On this particular day, Robin was wearing his black Cowboy outfit he got at Christmas each year and he was just about to save a wunaway twain (runaway TRAIN) which was bawowin (barreling) aWound (around) the lawja (LARGE) oak TWEE (tree) in the centuw (center) of the fwunt (front) yawd (yard). He fwiggin' (friggin') jumped from his galloping haws (horse) into the DWYVUHS (driver's) seat of this wunaway twain (runaway TRAIN) and pulled on the bwake (brake) to stop this TWANE (TRAIN) WITE (right) BEFAW (before) it WAN (ran) OVUW the KUHB (over the curb)  and into Snake WIVUH (River) FAW FAW (far far) below the high cliff. Robin just saved all the lives on the train that day and he was proud as he walked around the front of the train checking the short distance to the lip of the cliff! Robin was proud and all the passengers on the train were a whoopin' and a hollerin' their appreciation Robin's way as he strolled around the front of the train while slowly repositioning his black Cowboy hat onto his head.

   Robin was a little tired after this incredibly heroic deed! Out of the blue, a thought entered his head. It was one of those thoughts that usually did not enter Robin's mind but THIS was a special occasion and he knew it! He wanted to celebrate just like all those other people he just saved from running off the cliff into the Snake River. For sure, they would all have been "flatter than blueberry pancakes on a sunday morning" had Robin not seen that "imaginary" runaway train as he quickly jumped off his "imaginary" galloping horse into the driver's seat of that imaginary train BUT WAIT! He also pulled up on the imaginary brake JUST in TIME to stop that train before it was tossed off the cliff like an expensive dinner salad at a lavish westauwant (restaurant)! Wobin tewned (TURNED) his head and looked up the wohwd (road) uh-ways and began to follow his instincts like he had been doing so long ago or since he was two or thwee yeazs of age or just maybe... fwum ANOTHAW LIFE? With his gun in his well-crafted holster from Walmart and a swivel and "SWAG" in his walk, he began his journey down the street just like WHO? John friggin' Wayne! He wasn't even aware at this point that he had just vacated the parameters of his own small yard! How could he know? He was a Cowboy Hero who just saved an imaginary train of screamin' people, ya know?! It wouldn't be too long from now that this news of this heroic act would be flashed all over the television news and newspapers across the globe! Robin was already feeling famous before the news channels had the story. Hah! No wonder he felt as though he was FOUR-FOOT TALL! Robin had his mind set! He was going to the corner "Little Store" (convenient food mart) and nothing was going to stop him! People in their cars were honking at him in celebration of his heroic deed and he would just politely wave at them with one of those "royalty waves". The NEWS traveled fast in these here parts cuz we had THWEE (3)... yes, THWEE (3) T.V. channels in those days! "THIS HE-O (HERE) wasn't KANSAS, TOTO!"

   When Robin got to the parking lot of the "Little Store", a tall man was getting out of his spiffy pick-up truck. He probably had already heard about Robin saving that train of people from running off the cliff into the Snake River! The older man stayed in his truck and slowly re-closed his truck door keeping his eyes glued on Robin who was dressed to the nines with his black Cowboy outfit and packin' CAPPS in his guns which were placed softly in its black Walmart holster! You'd be moving pretty slow at this point if you were in Robin's space! The old man cleared his throat and said, "I think I've heard of you, what's your name?" Robin stopped in his tracks, turned slowly and looked up into the man's' eyes, cleared his throat and said, "My name is Wobin Bwown." The old man began shaking his head up and down slowly and replied, "That's what I thought, how are you doing today, Wobin?" Robin had a speech impediment since his early days and had a glaring eye that would melt you like butter if you even thought about making fun of the way he spoke! Men knew better and wouldn't react to it and probably just out of simple fear... but women well, WOMEN would always smile and chuckle and comment, "Aw, isn't that cute!"

   Women loved Robin because they knew he was... a Cowboy Hero! Women would then without fail ask Robin his name again, like they didn't hear him say it the first time! Robin learned to say his name really loud in the presence of women because he just thought that women were born with bad hearin'! It didn't matter how loud he said his name the first time because, without fail, women would always ask his name, AGAIN or say... "Excuse me, could YOU repeat THAT, please? Robin knew it was probably because they just wanted to capture his... Mesmerizing Attention... "COME ON! He was a Cowboy Hero!"

   Men, on the other hand, knew better than to ask his name twice and were probably shaking in their Cowboy Boots if they asked Robin his name even a first time because, around these parts, everyone knew about Robin the Cowboy! Over and over, day in and day out, it was..."It's Wobin Bwown!!! Which pot (part) of Wobin Bwown do you NOT undastand (understand)?" This older man from the pickup on this particular day... for sure had heard about this particular heroic deed because he hurried on over to the store door, grabbed the handle, pulled it open and said, "After you, Wobin!" Wobin... I mean Robin tipped his hat at the older man like he had seen this a million times on the T.V.!  Robin slowly moseyed (wondered) on over into the "Little Store". The cashier had been following this whole scene through the glass pane of the front door.

   The cashier, Mr. Johnson even greeted Robin with a "How ya doin' partner?" Robin slowly stopped right inside of the front door and tipped his hat once again but this time, to the cashier. Robin liked the cashier here at the "Little Store" because he always gave Robin the biggest smile when he came into the store. There was just a full on respect for this Cowboy Hero! Mr. Johnson must have heard all those rumors around town that you didn't want to cause any trouble with Wobin! Right inside the front door was this now "infamous isle of candies" that Robin just liked to study and observe when he came into the "Little Store" with Mom or Dad! Robin was well-known for this behavioral act of a FROZEN STARE! Dad would sometimes have to actually pick Robin up off his feet just to get him out of the store and away from this mesmerizing Candy Isle of Dreams. The cashier was taking care of a customer while Robin was frozen in STUDY of this tantalizing aisle! Without even thinking twice or "batting an eyelash" like he was possessed by the friggin' Candy Monster, Robin leaned over very slowly and grabbed a one cent piece of "HUBBA-BUBBA" bubblegum and then walked out the front door! Just... like... that! He looked down into his right hand and stared at this "HUBBA-BUBBA". He then took two or three steps, turned and waited to see if Mr. Johnson was going to come after him with guns ablazin' to recover that piece of "HUBBA-BUBBA" he just pinched! Wow! Robin just pulled off something he had only seen in the movies! He was now a thief! Aw... he thought it was o.k. since he had just saved the lives of so many on that imaginary train earlier in the day. NOPE!

   He felt pretty good about pulling one over on that "always smiling" Mr. Johnson as Robin made his way back to his "wanchola" (RANCHOLA or slang for : RANCH or house) for his afternoon nap after a long day of "Hoopala" (excitement)... on the golden planes. Robin walked into the back door and noticed Mom in the kitchen cooking something. She turned to Robin and said, "Oh, there you are! I've been looking for you!" Mom then noticed that Robin was chewing on something and asked, "What are you eating, Robin?" Robin responded, "I'm not eating anything, Mom... it's just gum." Oppps! Wong ANSA (Wrong answer)" was all Robin could think about right now! Mom asked, "Where did you get that gum?" Mom was now staring right into Robin's hazel green eyes to see if this next answer was true or not. Mom was always good at that so Robin always told his Mom the truth! He was just hoping that the next question was going to fit any of his already quickly "kinda-true" prepared answers. Mom, The Detective began her questioning. "Did you leave the yard today?" Already Robin was in trouble as he answered, "Yes". Mom, The Detective was good at this! "Where did you go?" Cool! Robin was ready for this one! "Well, Mom I went down to the "Little Stow" (Little Sore) to celebwate (celebrate) ME saving a twain (TRAIN) from wunnin' (RUNNING) off the cliff into that Snake Wiver (RIVER) out fwont (FRONT)!" Detective Mom was slowly moving her head up and down and staring at Robin like something was up! Her eyes began to squint slightly like Clint Eastwood's as if she was trying to see the full truth buried deep within Robin's soul. Robin was ready as he quickly followed with, "Yeah, I saved this fast moving twain by jumping off my HAWS (HORSE) into the dwyvew's SEAT..." "ROBIN!!! WHERE DID YOU GET THE GUM!?" Ewww... busted!!! Robin then realized that the truth had to be told or the flames were only going to get higher and more dangerous! Detective Mom continued with, "Did Mr. Johnson give you that piece of gum when you went to the "Little Store" by yourself without asking permission?" Robin responded, "Is that one question, Mom?" Mom then asked, "Did the chewing gum jump up out of the gum box into your mouth?" Robin knew that Mom, The Detective was serious and really good at this questioning stuff so Robin dropped the mask and said, "I took the gum from the gum box and walked out the daw(door)." That's when Mom slyly responded, "Really? ...without paying for it?" Robin was now slowly shaking his head in agreement. Mom then added, "Did Mr. Johnson know about YOU taking this gum?" Robin was no longer visibly chewing his gum. For some reason, the SWEET taste was now gone as he moved his head quickly to the left and then back to the right and then quickly stopped, hoping that Mom, The Detective didn't see this "behavioral response" because he was just too quick with his head movement. Wong (WRONG)!

   Mom then went into the "Mother Superior MODE" and began to explain the possible reactionary consequences of such an action. "What if Mr. Johnson's kids could not eat because everyone stole from him?" Robin felt like he could possibly be off THIS hook because he was now able to take a breath of relief as he then responded with a smile, "Mom, Mr. Johnson's kids are fatta than gwain-fed cattle!" "Robin!!!" Robin went quiet and Mom told Robin to go back to the "Little Store" and apologize to Mr. Johnson and pay him for the gum! Mom then began quickly rifling through her purse faster than a halfback searching for the football he just fumbled! She found a penny and handed it to Robin and told him to explain to Mr. Johnson what Robin did, apologize, pay him the penny and tell him that he will never do THAT again! Mom then said that she would call Mr. Johnson before Robin returned home. When Robin got home from his "apology journey" from the "Little Store", Mom was waiting at the door. When she saw Robin, she said, "I just got off the phone with Mr. Johnson and he said that you came back into the store and paid the penny and apologized but it is not over, Robin!" Robin's eyes got bigger than two pie plates on Thanksgiving as he said out loud, "WHAT now... a television crew is at the front door waiting for an interview with me for saving that runaway train this morning and you now feel bad for making me go pay that penny for that HUBBA BUBBA?" Mom was shaking her head as she asked, "Robin, where do you get all that? Wow! We need to talk! Come on into the living room and have a seat"

   Well, Robin knows he's in some pretty big ca-ca when Mom says, "We need to talk!" Robin would always be like... "Aw MAN!" He took a seat on the couch across from Mom who was already seated. Before Robin's mother could begin, he jumped in head first, "Mom, I need to explain this whole thing to ya!" Mom would have bought a set of encyclopedias before she bought THAT... as she then said, "Robin, don't even try to sell me another set of encyclopedias!"

   Fifty-plus something years later and to this day when my mate of many lovely years says, "We need to talk", I'm like "o.k." and she just sits there and smiles at me because she knows she's messin' with Wobin Bwown!


3,583 - 114 - 2 - US

   Here are a few of my esoteric rhymes which I composed and recorded to music supplied to me... by FRIENDS outside America. THESE RECORDINGS ARE FREE... FREE... free... to REFLECT upon... IF... inclined to do so...




(CUT and PASTE)...

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Robin Brown

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