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Changing Our Thought Process

April 26, 2017

Some of us don't believe we can change certain aspects of our thought process and behavior. However, for some who want to improve on their thinking and reacting, they are changing. For whatever reason, we can learn new ways of handling stress and anger. We can change many things concerning our personality and the way we think. Instead of believing we need to raise our voices, we can make a plan to change that course of living. We can concentrate on ourselves and help not only us but those we are close to, live a calmer, more peaceful life. One of the stresses we conjure up in our minds may be the need to be right all the time. Once we realize our own self worth,  that feeling goes away. This leads to less arguing and less animosity.

The better we feel about ourselves, the less we have to argue to get our point across. Other times, just keeping quiet is the sensible thing to do. The more we can utilize the  skills with the right behavior, we will have the beginning of a new lifestyle. "This, too, shall pass" is a phrase we all must be aware of and remember in our darkest hours. We sometimes need the reminder that tomorrow is another day. Changing takes desire, dedication, motivation and strength It's not easy trying to remain calm in a heated argument, but it can be done. What was once a major battle, can now be avoided, with no hurt feelings on either side. Thinking before we speak is a major help. How would we want to be talked to? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is another skill to think about before we blurt out what’s on our minds. 

Taking just a few seconds or minutes to clear our minds and lower the animosity level can make a bright day brighter and a dark day better. Blood pressure goes down, our hearts beat the way they should, our muscles in our back don’t get tight and achy, and our minds remain clear. This new behavior takes some getting used to, but it should be welcomed. It is also good to remember that we are trying to improve on characters that didn’t know any other way, including ourselves. We may have grown up in a tumultuous household, and never thought we were doing anything wrong. Our parents didn’t have the skills needed, and so were a lot of arguments. We continued that type of behavior through to our adulthood. Our children suffered because of this, as we suffered as kids, and it’s time to reinvent our perceptions and our way of speaking when we want to blow up. 

There are those who will refuse to even speak of therapy, and may be helped through our example. The right behavior may stimulate others to follow our lead. When this is the case, it’s important to show others how we have changed, so they, too, can focus on their own character reinvention. The benefits are life changing. We don’t have to perceive that others know more than us. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t, but it doesn’t have to matter to the point of a heated argument. Pride may try to rear it’s ugly head and pull us down, but we can be stronger, and change our way of thinking so what comes out of our mouths is an understanding, instead of a war. Surrounding ourselves with people who are also trying to change and grow for the better, is a helpful practice. Those who have anger problems or perception problems will continue causing harm to themselves and others if they can’t humble themselves to the idea of change.

Reducing the triggers that pull us from helpful practices is a sign of an intelligent person. The more negative thoughts and acts that are left unsolved, the more animosity festers. This can cause emotional unrest, as well as the physical ailments that go with stress and anger. There are solutions to help us with our feelings, some I have mentioned, but positivity is the key to a balanced way of life. The best we can do is recognize our faults, and learn how to change from negative thoughts and actions. There is no shame in receiving help. There is no shame in giving help. Once we are open to take steps to free us from negativity, our journey will begin.

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Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, and a daughter. They are adults now, and out of the house on their own.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for over thirty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some resemblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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