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Some Words Aren't Meant To Be Heard

January 29, 2017

I remember sitting in my walker, listening to the grown ups, and wishing I could talk. I wanted them to know I knew what they were saying, but I was too young to talk. Had I carried on this trait of being able to restrain my mouth over the years, I’d probably would have had an easier time of it. When you can’t get your point across, it’s a frustration that can quickly turn to anger. Anger causes stress, stress causes illness, and depression.

Everyone has their own point of view. Some are boastful about it, some quietly think about it, and some know just the right amount of words to use. When we start to focus on how many words we say each day, we might be surprised to find how many words can be deleted from our already active brains. Especially words of anger and aggression. What does it take for us to realize that "now" would be a good time to be quiet and listen?

We can’t all talk alike and act alike, but there can be a manner of simplicity and calmness that we can all learn to utilize. If someone is telling us a story and we are focused and in the moment, we will be appreciated for being quiet at the right time. If we are in a discussion, we can respect the other person by simply listening and being quiet. And we can expect the same from them.

If we aren’t quiet at the right moments, arguments can ensue that could have been avoided. I used to feel that I should let my opinions be known, and that I had that right. Well, I do have that right as long as my words are courteous, kind, and positive. Those who think their opinion is all that matters are usually the ones with no friends! Life is a give and take. Sometimes we talk and listen and sometimes we listen and then talk.

Practicing having a conversation with someone may help. How do you feel when asked the same questions or use the same tone of voice? Do you feel antagonized, interrupted, sworn at, and made to feel bad? Instead of having a battle, either physically or mentally or both, we can choose our words wisely and when we are in the right frame of mind. Obviously, if we are angry, it’s that much harder. However, we can change our minds.

We have free will to do so and should practice deleting any negative words or situations, knowing that to argue on would only cause more problems. We can also let go of some of the drama we exude when excited. We can use our brain to teach our minds what to do and when to do it. We can walk away from people who mean us harm. There is much to be said for a clear, mindful person who knows when it’s time to stand up, and when it’s time to sit down.

Healthy communication is key to a happy and fulfilling life. We can strive for that healthy conversation by being aware of our tone and our words. If someone says the color red is orange, I no longer have to prove them wrong. I know I have my own problems to sift through. Watching what I say and do helps immensely, and can stop arguments right in their track. Arguing about the little things in life is just a waste of time.

Who cares about the little things? If we handle ourselves well, our depression level will be shorter and we won’t have to feel the frustrations of arguing, or standing up for our "rights." If I know something is right for me, that’s all that should matter. I can come to a clear, thought out way of reminding my brain that I am not in the fighting mode. I can be diplomatic and truthful, and as long as I handle my tone and my words.

We can start at any time, and positive results should follow. If one person doesn’t react the right way in response to what we are saying, we can excuse ourselves and walk away. If we can’t move from the situation, we can always keep those words silenced that would surely cause an argument. Try treating others the way you want to be treated, and see your response.



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Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, and a daughter. They are adults now, and out of the house on their own.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for over thirty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some resemblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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