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Change Your Mind

May 31, 2016

Everyone has their own take on things, and their own principles they don’t like violated. However, our thinking process is either influenced by parents and family as we grow up, or by the lack of such. We go through life’s problems, and we either solve them or make them worse. In most instances, if we simply evaluated how we were thinking about something or some concept or other people, we have the ability to change our minds.

Jealousy is something one can omit from their lives if they understood what they were thinking. It’s usually "in our heads" to be jealous of anyone. If we don’t feel strong in our spirit and our soul, we will think one way. If we are comfortable with who we are and what our own beliefs and concepts are, we can greatly improve our lives. The most positive and progressive way we can change our minds is to realize that we have characteristics that are based in the soul, and are admirable to everyone else.

This isn’t easy, and it takes some time, but it can be done. So, jealousy would be out of the way. There is also an arrogance amid some who think they are a victim of life. To them, changing their mind might mean to change their whole belief system. Once we realize there are other ways to think about something or someone, we can move forward in a more relaxed and positive manner. Empathy plays a huge role in how we relate to others or to circumstances that arise in our lives.

It’s always a good idea to try and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes before we start berating them and escalating ourselves into an argument or confrontation. Perhaps someone thinks they have done us a favor, when it is the furthest thing from how we feel about something. Maybe we think one way about an issue, and someone tries to sway that way of thinking. If we can see that their way would better benefit us and those we deal with, we can change our mind about the way that we think.

I think that the more people engage in positive mediations instead of heated arguments, the road ahead will be less bumpy.  Knowing we need to change certain thought processes is not easy. Nor is changing those ways of thinking that no longer serve any purpose. Life can, however, change around for the better for us if we become calmer, more empathetic, and happier in our lives. If we can’t get to the bottom of knowing what is the right way to think and act, there is always therapy with a councilor, therapist, psychiatrist or psychologist.

Sometimes, we may need outside guidance and the smart thing to do is to get it. These people hold the knowledge we are seeking, and will help us if we let them. We must learn different approaches to our thinking, and work to make that happen. We can’t control the way others think or believe, but we can learn to control ourselves. Through example, we may be influencing those that we love and spend time with. If they have adapted a better way of thinking which brings about calmness, we’ve been patient and skillful and that can be assimilated by others.

If we share what we have learned, and what has benefited our own selves, then we’ve made a difference in our lives and those we’ve inspired.  We can let go of trivial things that mean absolutely nothing in the realm of our lives. We also can then focus on a good and positive way of thinking that changes our minds about some things. We can learn that instead of throwing a fit, we can evaluate what we are feeling and thinking, and change it. If we are homophobic and find out our best friend of 30 years is gay, we can listen to their story and come away thinking a different way.

Most people that are against gay and lesbian unions, don’t even know any gay or lesbians. I have listened to those that are "different" and heard what their struggles through life have been. I have wiped the tears of those that would rather be straight, but the pull to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual is too hard for them to change. This is not a matter that changing one’s mind can do. However, how we look upon them and think about their plight can be changed. If one truly believes in God, they know the Supreme Being isn’t concerned with
one’s sexual preference.

He created us all, then He must love gays, lesbians, homosexuals, trans genders and transvestites. Maybe it’s not their mind that needs to be changed, but more of how we can empathize and change our own minds on this subject. Change is hard but it may be very rewarding to the evolution of our lives here on Earth. What if God created us all different for a reason? To see who would be the passionate ones, and who would profess their love for Him, but not their son, daughter, relative, or friend that reveals they are "different."

We can all be more sympathetic and understanding of ourselves and others. Going to church for one hour a week, but talking badly about others is constant throughout the week, then maybe we should learn a new way of thinking. If we just washed the floor and our 4 year old spills his full glass of milk, we don’t have to give in to the anger and frustration of having to clean it up. We can talk to ourselves and assure our minds that this is not the end of the world, and simply and calmly wipe up the spill.

It may have taken me years to be ready for change, but now that I have had help through therapy and my own mind, life is so much easier and less stressful. Everyone benefits.

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Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, and a daughter. They are adults now, and out of the house on their own.

Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.

She has been on a journey of self discovery for over thirty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some resemblance of calm and peace within.

If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.

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