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The Criminals of Colorado

November 17, 2010
No Diet 4 Me
Okay, I must confess. My wife and I are the heinous criminals who smuggled the cage full of budgies into the motel in Colorado under false pretenses!

Surely the statute of limitations has expired by now.

First, let me profess my innocence, kind of, in this affair.

My wife and I were leaving the Dallas, Texas area to visit relatives in Arizona. From there, we were going to circle up to Denver, where she was going to pick up a "couple of birds" from a budgie breeder there. We were then going to just follow US287 southeast to Fort Worth and home.

Now, here's where I began my life of crime.

We were going to only be able to get a little bit south of Denver after visiting the bird breeder, so I reserved a motel room in a small town in Colorado. My wife asked me to call the motel and make sure that we could bring in "a parakeet".

They said, "Of course".

I was already on the slippery slope of sin. I KNEW for a fact that we were going to have a couple of birds, not just one.

That's how you get hooked in.

Well, we arrived at the breeder's home in Denver, and as soon as my wife started talking bird talk with him, I knew that she had yielded to the dark side of the force. When she began picking birds, she didn't stop at two, three, or even four. Before I knew what was happening, she had a kazillion birds!

Okay, maybe about 30 or so.

Ever tried to keep 30 budgies (big damn British parakeets) quiet?

Ever tried to sneak them into a motel room in a small Colorado town in broad daylight?

With my wife as lookout, as dusk began to gather, I scurried to our room with the packed cage, about the size of a 20" TV.

Oh, the shame and humiliation!

The poor budgies spent the night under a cloak of darkness, imposed by several motel towels. There in the artificial darkness they cowered quietly, passing the night in terror I am sure. For now, they too, innocent as they had been, had passed into the criminal underworld just as we had.

The next morning, we eschewed partaking of the free "continental breakfast", leaving before dawn so that we could put as long a trail as possible between us and the posse that was sure to follow.

We covered our trail carefully. We kept the birds covered so that they would not cry out to passersby and give us away.

We might have made it without a trace but for one slip.

In Vernon, Texas, we decided to air out the car for obvious reasons, so we let the windows down.

What do you think happens to a cage full of birds, feathers, and seed husks when the wind blows through it?

We suddenly found ourselves enveloped in a whirling mass of feathers and seed husks which lodged in every accessible orifice, and our hair, swirling around inside the car in a feathery, husky tornado before exiting the car and leaving an airborne trail behind us, much like a scene from a comic book.

Weakly, my wife tried to smile, but the feather in her mouth took away some of the reassuring effect.

Some apparently stayed with us because a year later we were still finding feathers in odd corners of the car.

Somehow, the authorities never tracked us down.

Yet even today, a sudden noise, a shadow, can make us turn and peer around, fearful that we will see the authorities closing in.

However, one question still remains.

How the heck did the budgie feather I found the other day get into a car which had not even been built when we made our mad run from Denver to Fort Worth/Dallas so long ago.

Is it possible that some bird vigilante has tracked us down and is playing some mad mind game before closing in for the kill?

I do not know, but a couple of years ago when we had to drive through Vernon, Texas, I am sure that I saw a trail of feathers in the trees, and felt the eyes of the town upon us.

We are doomed.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Donovan Baldwin is a 65-year-old accountant, amateur bodybuilder, freelance writer, certified optician, and Internet marketer currently living in the Atlanta, Gerogia area. A University Of West Florida alumnus (1973) with a BA in accounting, he has been a member of Mensa and has been a Program Accountant for the Florida State Department of Education, the Business Manager of a community mental health center, and a multi-county Fiscal Consultant for an educational field office. He has also been a trainer for a major international corporation, and has managed various small businesses, including his own. After retiring from the U. S. Army in 1995, with 21 years of service, he became interested in Internet marketing and developed various online businesses. He has been writing poetry, articles, and essays for over 40 years, and now frequently publishes original articles on his own websites and for use by other webmasters. He has posted a series of articles on The Law of Attraction , and other self-improvement issues at xtramoney4me.net/internetmarketing/reviews/law_of_attraction_articles/ .
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Donovan Baldwin is a freelance writer currently living in the Dallas - Fort Worth area. He is a University Of West Florida alumnus (1973) with a BA in accounting. He is a past member of Mensa and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and has held several managerial positions while in the military and in civilian life. After retiring from the U. S. Army in 1995, he became interested in Internet marketing and developed various online businesses. He has been writing poetry, articles, and essays for over 40 years, and now frequently publishes articles on his own websites and for use by other webmasters. He has a website on health, fitness, diet, and weight loss at http://www.nodiet4me.com/ .

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